Top five things to love in Avengers: Age of Ultron…
5. Party hammer competition, especially Thor’s face when Cap shifts it a few millimetres.
4. Tony Stark’s “please be a secret door, please be a secret door… yay”
3. Ultron’s personality being part-Stark, but not wanting to admit it.
2. “You know I’ve always supported your Avenging.”
1. The Vision. Dispenses zen wisdom. Shoots energy out of his forehead chakra. Perfect.
Top ten things to dislike in Avengers: Age of Ultron…
10. There are now so many hero characters in these films that in any given perilous situation you can have some more of them arrive to turn the tide. Here, Nick Fury turns up with War Machine in a quinjet. This will now be the potential getout for all future movies: “suddenly, a quinjet with all the other superheroes turned up.”
9. Maxifmoff Twins’ ludicrous Eastern European accents.
8. Andy Serkises even more ludicrous EFFERICAN AHCEHNT.
7. Tony Stark is now 99% just an annoying brat.
6. Look! Second best Quicksilver in a recent superhero movie
5. Expends an AWFUL lot of energy on maintaining its “universe” and servicing its increasingly overloaded multi-platform continuity and related synergy channels.
4. Big climatic swarm of completely undifferentiated CGI killer robots.
3. Thor’s vision quest cave excursion and its utter incoherence. Who even knows what planet that scene is on.
2. Clumsy dialogue coming dangerously close to suggesting women who can’t have children are “monsters.” Yes, I know that’s not what they meant.
1. Utterly overstuffed plot and cast list: distending the movie, screwing the editing, and destroying the pacing. Probably needed that extra 45 minutes they cut.
In conclusion: C+, still slightly better than Man of Steel.
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