With the LFF now thoroughly under way…

Boots Riley’s Sorry to Bother You was fun, interesting, provocative and unpredictable (especially that third act swerve!), but could it be that it was a victim of its own hype? After having been described as something you’d never seen before it turned out to be… kind of a Kaufman/Gondry kind of deal. It reminded me of things like Human Nature and The Science of Sleep, albeit with its cinematic tomfoolery used in the service of Marxist consciousness rather than its predecessors’ more privileged navel-gazing. Those movies are great bedfellows, though, and there is a lot to recommend in this film (not least of which are the performances of Lakeith Stanfeld, Armie Hammer and Tessa Thompson). Ultimately though, this might be one of those films that’s more fun to talk about at 2am than anything else.

The Coens’ The Ballad of Buster Scruggs turned out to be patchy, unable to sustain its length, and weirdly ugly. I’ve seen a lot of people claim this film looked great. Nope – remorselessly digital, in the worst way: flat and artificial. Some nuggets of greatness drift through its waters, but you have to sieve for them. I liked Scruggs though; the demon clown, the deadly moron entertainer, always looking to correct the narrative, draw focus, rig the game and polish his stature. Very Trump.

Paul Dano and Zoe Kazan’s Wildlife plays out like a minor classic of 20th century American literature, which is fitting as that’s what it’s adapted from. It looks beautiful, in a sparse rural Montana kind of way, but the simply structured story of abandonment and adultery is ultimately a platform for Carey Mulligan’s towering performance as a wife slowly, wilfully, going over the edge. The film as a whole is slim (which is fine – not everything is War and Peace), but perhaps can’t help but be anything else but a showcase for her acting. The final image is a doozy, though.

Roma turned out to be a straight-up contender for film of the year – at this point I honestly believe it’ll come down to this vs A Star Is Born. Cuaron’s tale of an indigenous Mexican housekeeper and the 1970 middle-class Mexico City family that employs her is perhaps his masterpiece. It’s beautifully shot, acted with rare grace and subtlety throughout, and filled with moments of transcendence. The scene where a doctor attempts to subtlely excuse himself from a birth was perhaps my favourite moment of the entire festival. Truly great. Coming soon to Netflix, but good lord see it on a big screen if you can. I am slightly worried about the fact that Beck seems to be writing an orchestration for it though. The version we saw had no music at all, over the opening or ending credits or throughout. What are Beck and Cuaron up to…?

I Do Not Care If We Go Down In History as Barbarians (Dir: Radu Jude) spoke most smartly about our times to me. A Romanian artist plans a public re-enactment of a famous World War II battle – or was it an atrocity? The battle for narrative, and the power of the endlessly reanimated past in the living present, are huge themes, and this film rips into them with rare power. Probably the most unashamedly smart film I saw at the fest, wearing its brains on its sleeve and pushing towards a deeply unsettling ending.

Following on from Widows, Karyn Kusama’s Destroyer was another powerhouse acting juggernaut / female-led crime flick. The review for this seem more lukewarm than for Widows, which has been getting endless applause both for its genre power (which Destroyer also has) and its insights into how power operates in American society (not so much). I really enjoyed both films, but I’ll say this – Destroyer’s twists were the ones I didn’t see coming, and while Widows had the best actors, Destroyer has the star. There are thing Kidman can do with a glance than no amount of “quality” acting can reproduce. Do yourself a favour and see both.

My LFF voyage continues in my fourth report…

With the pre-festival screenings done, the main event kicked off…

Widows got the festival off to a high-octane start with an excellently enjoyable slice of explosive heist action. But more than that – it was also a compelling exploration of systematic power imbalances, corruption, inequality and the perennially disappointing nature of men. Also; straight off the bat, the best dog of the festival. Much fun to be had in debating the best performance: Davis, Debicki, Kaluuya… for my money though, Cynthia Erivo steals it out from under them (ha!). Probably Steve McQueen’s least interesting film, but still better than 95% of the crime flicks out there.

More thrills, this time of a highly contained nature, in Norwegian single-location thriller The Guilty. Mostly focussing on the face of one man (an dodgy cop exiled to the boredom of emergency call telephony while under investigation) and the voices on the other end of his telephone line, this film milked its setup for all it was worth. Could he solve the riddle of what was unfolding? Could he, should he, go beyond his remit to try and save a life? White knuckle stuff, with nothing but two rooms a monitor and a Bluetooth headset.

Panos Cosmatos’s Mandy was one of my most-anticipated films of the festival – that trailer! – but for me it was a minor disappointment. Stylised to the point of slightly tiresome alienation, its characters never felt real to me, and so all their screaming and wailing ended up as light and sound signifying… if not quite nothing, then not a lot. Better in the second half, when it’s just pedal-to-the-heavy-metal (ha!) action, but even then they have Cage face off against his most interesting foes first, rather then build up to them as a climax. Still, the diluted-pupil aesthetic makes this a unique and memorable film, whatever its flaws. And Cage is as Cage does.

“It’s…. nnngggggggggg… crazy EVIL” – Nicholas Cage esquire in Mandy

The Surprise Treasure was a treasure indeed, but we were politely asked NEVER TO REVEAL what it was. It’s not hard to find out. It’s certainly one of the director’s best works and a classic of the biopic genre – now lovingly restored to clarity and caption-readability.

Note: film shown at the LFF was of a much greater clarity than the above screenshot…

Meanwhile, Happy New Year, Colin Burstead proved that while Kevin Wheatley is one of the UK’s most exciting directors, he only truly hits top gear when Neil Maskell is involved. This film has been described by some as “Mike Leigh on acid” (a comment repeated in the Q&A, to which sadly failed to catch the reaction of Leigh himself, in the audience), and is a darkly humorous and slyly observant slice of lower-middle-class savagery. Tea is served alongside booze, lies and recriminations in a hired stately home as Wheatley loosely plays with the dynamics of Coriolanus (the movie’s working title: Colin, You Anus). A very vaguely psychotic, Brexity Abigail’s Party, with Trap music.

Neil Maskell, above, radiates the potential for profound psychic violence. You know, like, arguments and stuff.

My LFF roundup continues with my third report…

I’m going to periodically post a selection of reviews from the London Film Festival 2018. If I didn’t like something, and it’s a little under the radar, I’ll probably skip posting anything here (though you can see my thoughts on those files on Letterboxd). For all the things I liked, and all the big ticket items though, I’ll post them in these reports. And without further ado, here is my first report from LFF 2018.

Crystal Swan 

Set in Belarus, 1996. A teen on the edge of adulthood fakes a visa request to take a trip to Chicago, the “birthplace of house music”. Due to an error, to pull off the ruse she needs to convince a family of rubes in rural Belarus to let her answer their phone when the via checkers call. But will her time with the family change her, or them?

This had a nice Rohmer style 1st act, meandered in the same register for the 2nd act while slightly playing for time… and then took a swerve into something nastily Mungiu-esque in the 3rd. For something marketed as a comedy, and pretty funny up til then, it really did get suddenly very dark. I wonder why is it in the LFF ‘Laugh’ strand without anything resembling a trigger warning?

And yet… personally I like it when films upend expectations, and I dug the contrast between the house soundtrack and the visuals of run-down 1996 Minsk (seemingly trapped in the late 70s) and rural Belarus. Recommend, but: brace yourself.

After The Screaming Stops

Documentary following the Goss brothers, Matt and Luke, as they attempt to put their differences behind them and reform their band, Bros, for a big reunion gig at the O2.

In the first half this borders on Spinal Tap levels of rock nonsense, and is very funny. Matt especially comes across as Alan Partridge re-written by Ricky Gervais.

In the second half there are more moments of humour, but mixed in with scenes that feels like extended therapy sessions. We get to see the brothers endlessly snipe and argue before their predictable (yet fairly unconvincing) make-up, ultimately their big reunion gig success. Neither of these guys seem to know how to shut up and listen without jumping in with “yeah but-”, so it’s kind of agonising. No-one can put up with these levels of passive aggression for long, it’s just toxic.

Anyway many of the earlier sequences, which are unapologetically edited for maximum amusement value, are pure comedy gold. I’ll never forget Matt Goss’s angry demands that British children be allowed to play conkers without goggles.

Border

A unusual looking woman has a job sniffing out contraband – and sniffing out guilt – at the customs checkpoint at a ferry port. One day she meets a guy who looks just like her. Don’t you realise, he asks her, that you’re a troll?

This fable was nuts, magical, sad… and really didn’t go where expected. The pacing lags at times, but apart from that I really liked it. Post-Del Toro forest otherworldliness with ScandiNoir complications. With all the world-building, perhaps it would have been even better as a TV show?

Either way, if you’re a Del Toro fan, I strongly recommend this. Forget Bright, this is how you do a gritty modern-day fairy story.

U: July 22

This story of the Utoya shootings is very well acted and shot, and captured in a single take (opening sequnce aside). Of course, that means it’s gruelling throughout.

This is probably the best film on this subject that could exist, but I’m still not sure it justifies itself. Do we need a harrowing 70-minute “hiding from a gunman” simulator? Is it beneficial?

I can’t deny it’s remarkably well done though, completely unforgettable, and if nothing else serves to show up just how misconceived the Paul Greengrass film of this subject is.

Asako I & II

An Osaka girl’s romance with a good-looking (but mysteriously brooding) enigma comes to an end when he vanishes. She moves to Tokyo and, some time later, bumps into a guy who looks just like her ex. Is it him? Can she find love again? Whats going on?

A decent chunk of the audience seemed to feel this just went on and on (kind of how I felt about Dead Pigs). Well, I didn’t care, I absolutely dug it.

This felt like a Kurosawa Kiyoshi film, or a Murakami novel, as it traced the edge of plausibility and toyed with magical realism. Softly humorous throughout, and gently romantic (for the most part). It drops off a little in interestingness as it goes on, and maybe fumbles the ending, but I never got bored – and the first half is wonderful.

This is a really good festival so far for films that take a swerve in unexpected directions.

Ash is Purest White

In China a rural gangster’s moll hopes her man will take her places… but as the years roll by and the country changes around her… well, we don’t always get what we want.

This starts very strongly as a low-level gangsters-and-lowlifes crime story, then a third of the way in takes a hard left swerve… as the film continues, genre conventions continue to fall away, until it becomes a study of a relationship, or more accurately just a woman: a ‘prisoner of the universe’, and alone in the cosmos.

Split into three sections, in three time periods, the opening Act was the highlight. That YMCA disco scene! Those funeral ballroom dancers! Magic. The second and third acts are interesting but there’s a slight danger the frustrations of the character become the frustrations of the audience. In the end the movie, much like life for certain characters, doesn’t quite come together – probably the key point, artistically, but I can’t deny it left me slightly unsatisfied. But there’s so much going on here that I really need to see this one again.

It was certainly good enough to finally convince me to dust off my A Touch of Sin blu-ray, from the same director, Jia Zhangke.

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And that’s it from my first report! The next one will kick off with the very good Widows, from Steve McQueen.

Goodbye 2015. What with different US and UK release schedules, and film festivals, let’s not quibble about what counts as a 2015 release – here’s everything I feel like including.

RECOMMENDED

Grade A / *****

1. Ex Machina

It’s a classic science fiction tale, it’s a thriller, it’s a mystery, it’s a philosophical riddle, it’s a tricksy nightmare, it’s a social satire… Ultimately it’s a magician’s trick that relies on gender as a socially-constructed performance plus good old fashioned male arrogance. Ex Machina is an unexpectedly feminist twist on the “sexy female robot” trope, and a delight throughout. All three leads are great, especially Alicia Vikander as the robot Ava and Oscar Isaac as her creator. In fact, of all this year’s science-fiction movies where Domhnall Gleeson and Oscar Isaac are enemies, this was the best. And it has the best, creepiest dance scene of the year.

2. Mad Max: Fury Road

The best movie chase ever?  Yes. So good that it can take up pretty much the whole movie and not outstay its welcome.  Chases have such a long illustrious history in cinema, and Fury Road is a shining exemplar of the form. At times this earned the mantle of pure cinema.

3. Carol

The best straight-up romance of the year.  No nightmare surrealism, dream-logic, anti-romance or satiric sour taste (see The Duke of Burgundy or The Lobster) in this one – just pure romance, aching, longing, beyond anything I’ve seen for years.  Plus it looks gorgeous, all decked out in deep reds and lonely teals.

4. It Follows

Excellent John Carpenter-esque horror; wonderfully dreamy throughout, this perfectly captured the feeling of an inescapable nightmare.

5. The Duke of Burgundy

Another dreamy/nightmarish movie; somewhere in the 20th century (to borrow the opening line from Brazil), somewhere in central Europe (possibly). In a world seemingly without men, two women pursue a relationship steeped in role-playing and artifice.  In between hints of David Lynch and homages to Stan Brakhage, tensions slowly mount and loyalties dissolve.  Romantic, heartbreaking, and melancholy. The most painful romance of the year.

Grade A- / *****

6. Catch Me Daddy

A modern western set in the north of England, as a runaway Pakistani bride is hunted down by her family and their thugs-for-hire. This movie expertly plays the audience like an instrument throughout. Only the very very ending hits perhaps the wrong note, but everything else is great. The best scene is one of dancing to Patti Smith (with choreography by FKA Twigs!): second best dance scene of the year.

7. The Lobster

The funniest satire on romance this year. Sure, it’s much better in the first half than the second… but even the second half is pretty good, and the final moments are sublime. But more importantly, the first half is just that good that it wins the film an “A” grade all on its own. Colin Farrell, Olivia Coleman and Ashley Jensen are stand-outs.

8. 45 Years

Heartbreaking in its quiet intensity – Charlotte Rampling gives the performance of the year in this portrait of a marriage disintegrating as the past literally unthaws.

9. World of Tomorrow

The only short on this list is also the best animation I saw this year – a bleak comedy of the future, and the nature of existence itself. Available to stream. Google it.

10. Star Wars: The Force Awakens

The Star Wars movie we’d been waiting for; essentially a remix of A New Hope, and to a lesser extent Empire and Return, but what a remix. Map-based plot-holes and dangling threads be dammed, this was a good old fashioned adventure romp with a great villian, touching friendships, a noble sacrifice and a cute robot. Disney paid $4 billion for Lucasfilm, and they got off to a great start.  That said, hopefully the other four Star Wars movies they have planned will follow their own path.

11. The Witch

Not out until Spring ’16, but featured at various Film Festivals this year. Terrifying. Kinda disregards The Crucible by saying “what if there was a witch in the New England woods?”, but if a horror film is this good, well… it earns that right.

Grade B+ / ****

12. ’71

Another excellent chase movie, this time a disoriented British squaddie on the run behind ‘enemy line’ in Belfast in 1971 – after seeing something he shouldn’t have every side wants him dead. If foot chases are more your thing, this is the movie for you. Plus it has armed people knocking on front doors, pretending to be friendly and concealing their weapons just out of sight of the peep hole. You know the kind of scene. Excellent.

13. The Wolfpack

The best documentary I saw all year (NB: I didn’t see Amy).  Phenomenal, and like a lot of my favourite films I saw this year, strangely dreamlike. A family of (mostly) brothers who are forbidden to leave their New York apartment compensate by remaking blockbusters inside it. But when one of them escapes dressed as Mike Myers from Halloween, everything changes.

14. Tangerine

There’s such wonderful joy in this movie, such energy and humour and power; it just winds itself up and rips through the screen for 88 solid minutes.  Move over Die Hard, this is my new favourite Christmas movie

15. Green Room

Another festival film set for release in early ’16. A worthy companion piece to the director’s earlier Blue Ruin, a siege movie in the Assault on Precinct 13 mould; sweaty, claustrophobic, tense, panicky, and often suddenly very very violent. Patrick Stewart gives an excellent performance as the Neo-Nazi who needs some teens disposed of, and Alia Shawkat, Imogen Poots and Anton Yelchin are especially great as a bunch of kids who just happened to be in the wrong green room at the wrong moment.

16. A Pigeon Sat On A Branch Reflecting on Existence

Like a Swedish Monty Python on Xanex, this completes the loose trilogy of sketch-based movies Roy Andersson started with Songs from the Seventh Floor and You, The Living. Pure savage deadpan humour delivered at a snail’s pace, and all the more relishable for that. Again, I seem to be all about the dreamlike movies this year, but what are movies if not a dream we can all share in the dark?

17. A Most Violent Year

There were three big movies about the struggles of people fighting to start businesses this year: this, Steve Jobs, and Joy.  This was the best one. Oscar Isaac – who is ON FIRE this year, let’s notice that – wants to establish himself as a major player in the heating oil business. But when his trucks start getting hijacked, how long can he resist calling in the services of his wife’s (Jessica Chastain) kingpin father? Incidentally, Chastain is amazing in this, more than making up for her limp, badly directed turn in The Martian later in the year. A Most Violent Year got middling reviews from some people who wanted it to be Carlitos’s Way or something. I like Carlito’s Way a lot, it’s the first 18 I ever saw in a cinema. This isn’t that movie.  But come at it without expectations and it’s really good.

18. While We’re Young

Noah Baumbach once again trolling hipsters, but this time also taking on narcissistic middle aged couples fighting the loss of youth instead of growing into it, and (interestingly) picking over the state of modern documentary making. I think Baumbach is genuinely annoyed by the BS slights of hand of the likes of Catfish or Exit Through the Gift Shop. I’m happy he got the chance to express that while showing us Naomi Watts at a hip-hop exercise class.

19. Victoria

A single shot, lasting 2 hours 15 minutes, tracks Victoria. She’s a young Spanish girl enjoying, then leaving, a Berlin basement dance club.  Some guys are leaving at the same time.  They’re friendly.  They’re drunk. They’d like a chat. Don’t worry, they really are nice guys… but nonetheless this is about to turn into the night from hell.  The single shot technique leaves you feeling utterly trapped in a narrative sliding out of control.  Awesome.

20. Sicario

Excellent Michael-Mann style US/Mexico border antics.  Amazingly shot (thanks Roger Deakins, WHEN WILL YOU WIN YOUR OSCAR?).  A little strange how they treat Emily Blunt – hard to explain without spoiling things, but they definitely drift away from her character towards the end, and she is supposedly the protagonist.  Still, at least that gives Benico Del Toro some space to get ridiculously macho/brutal with a drugs lord.  Comes on like a cross between Heat and Zero Dark Thirty, and would have been much higher in this list had Emily Blunt had much to do with the ending.

21. Force Majeure

Another wonderful satire of relationships, and how much men need to be the heroes of their own stories. Dissects the modern marriage with surgical precision.

Grade B / ****

22. Inherent Vice – Fuzzy, strangely mesmerising, oddly forgettable in the specifics but utterly memorable in its mood.
23. Bridge of Spies – Spielbergian in the best sense, then (suddenly) the worst. Seriously, you can do an emotional climax without a lot of grandstanding shots, golden light and blaring mood music. But Hanks is great as ever, and Mark Rylance even better than that.
24. Mistress America – the second Baumbach jab at delusional youth this year; great first half in the Francis Ha mould, then suddenly it’s a country house farce in the second half, and which point it stumbles around quite a bit.
25. Clouds of Sils Maria – Kristen Stewart gives maybe the best supporting performance of the year.  She’s so phenomenal in this (and bouncing lines off Juliette Binoche can’t hurt).
26. Wild Tales – Argentinian portmanteu of revenge stories; 1/3 great, 1/3 fun, 1/3 forgettable.
27. Girlhood – The best coming-of-age movie of the year, as a young girl starts to carve out her identity in an exurban Paris that just wants to put her in a box.  Full of life.
28. Anomalisa – What would have been a great 1 hour stop-motion sketch stretched out to feature length.  A lot to love, but spread too thinly.
29. Best of Enemies – Acidic fun; so wonderful to see William F. Buckley and Gore Vidal (already each looking like figures out of time) try and tear each other down, completely oblivious to the fact they already look like circus acts.
30. Slow West – Dreamy western, punctuated with some excellent gunplay set pieces.
31. Orion: The Man Who Would Be King – Heartbreaking true life tale (file under “stranger than fiction”) about a man doomed to live under the shadow of Elvis Presley, who could just not give up on his dream.
32. Jurassic World – Leave your brain at the door for some B-movie hijinks served up with aplomb (with a side order of eye-rolling sexism).
33. Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation – The first entry in this series that brings literally nothing new.  So far the M:I films have each had their own slightly distinctive vibe. This fifth instalment was just a rehash of whatever bits of the first four seemed to work well. The highlight was the “De Palma” section, riffing on the first movie: the assassination at the opera with all the splitscreen.  I love this stuff in actual De Palma movies, and I liked it being imitated here.
34. Bone Tomahawk – Kurt Russell in an excellent men-on-a-mission movie.  Imagine Jaws if Jaws were a western and the shark was a tribe of mutant cannibals. A long long trek is punctuated by great back-and-forth macho posse banter, and (ultimately) an insanely violent ending. Attitude to race is somewhat questionable though (the director proudly proclaimed is wasn’t just a mix of horror and western, but of the 19th century tradition of ‘lost race’ stories too – yup, maybe that’s the problem.)
35. Steve Jobs – so much fun watching actors chewing over Sorkin’s dialogue that you don’t realise until the credits roll that ultimately… well, who cares? But Fassbender facing off against (the great) Kate Winslet is a joy to watch.  Plus I cried in one scene.
36. Spectre– A second-rate Roger Moore bond movie dressed up in Daniel Craig clothes. The other way around would have been better: a solid, meaningful, logical plot with a surface of fun spy hijinks could work; a bunch of random wacky plot mechanisms with a surface of dour self importance does not.  One of those films that seems fun at the time, but a solid 24 hours of reflection later and you realise it was nonsense. Still, a good opening sequence.
37. White Bird In A Blizzard – A dreamlike mystery centring on Eva Green in full-on rolling-eyes cackling hysteria mode. Obviously I liked this. Plus Shaline Woodley tries to seduce Thomas Jane (playing a cop) with maximum awkwardness.

 

SOMEWHAT RECOMMENDED IF YOU ARE PARTICULARLY INTERESTED OR PERHAPS ON A PLANE

Grade B- / ***

38. Life Itself – Touching Roger Ebert documentary.
39. Black Panthers: Vanguard of the Revolution – Now I know who Eldridge Cleaver is.  EDUCATIONAL.
40. The End of The Tour – Jason Segal is excellent as David Foster Wallace. The rest is a bit flimsy.
41. Cartel Land – US/Mexico border doc, e.g. the “real” Sicario.  Unfocussed at times, and overlong, but good.
42. Hitchcock/Truffaut – Interesting/forgettable doc, fun to see Hitch critiquing Truffaut and Scorsese explaining why he likes Vertigo so much.  Not much to this in the end through – like a superior DVD extra.
43. High Rise – Disappointing. Looks great, and Luke Evans is surprisingly excellent.  But the plotting is dire. They live in a highrise. Halfway through an argument causes a sudden and complete decent into anarchy. Too clumsy for satire, zero narrative tension, and characters so two-dimensional you just don’t care. Makes for a great trailer though.
44. Fear Itself – Another dreamy movie. Documentary on horror movies that drifts from scene to scene with a chilling monotone voiceover. Simultaneously fascinating and soporific.
45. Evolution – Nightmarish body-horror fable. Kids raised on a volcanic island by identical-looking women.  Strange rituals abound. Memorable. But boring.
46. Black Mass – Johnny Depp wants an Oscar, so slaps on the latex facemask. Vacuous, but nicely polished. Dakota Johnson is EXCELLENT, in her one notable scene.
47. The Hateful Eight – Enormously disappointing – this had a lot going for it, and there are some great flourishes in the script, direction and acting.  But the plot is woefully undercooked, with setups not going anywhere as interesting as they could have, and themes of racism cack-handedly mismanaged.  Add in the only female cast member getting repeatedly punched in the face (sometimes for simple comic effect) and give it a butt-numbing three hour running time, and you have a strong contender for QT’s worst movie.  It’s either this or Death Proof.
48. The Martian – Solid enough. Pretty bland every time they cut away from Matt Damon though. Even Jessica Chastain suffers from that, so I assume it’s Ridley Scott’s fault.
49. TrainWreck – I like Amy Schumer, and this had some fun moments, particularly from Jon Cena. But it’s not great and the Grease-style makeover ending is pretty awful.
50. Kingsman – The exploding heads towards the end looked so poor.
51. Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief – A worthy cause, but strangely dull. Good footage of Tom Cruise though.
52. Paddington – Fun but forgettable. Nice warm character moments with High Bonneville and Sally Hawkins though.
53. Ant-Man – Some nice moments, but the core of the script is just the same old origin story all over again.
54. The Assassin – It’s very hard to merge wuxia tropes with Tarkovskian ‘slow cinema’. The Assassin mostly fails.

Grade C+ / ***

55. Avengers: The Age of Ultron – Nonsense plot saved by character moments mainly b6sed on the foundations of earlier, better Marvel movies.
56. Terminator: Genysis – Better than you’ve heard – works as drunken fan-fic. In fact, better than the last two Terminator movies.
57. White God – Nice DOGS GONE WILD imagery in this tale of a canine revolution.
58. Crimson Peak – Majorly disappointing: a gothic romance that’s not that romantic, a ghost story that rapidly loses interest in the ghosts, and a haunted house film that’s not that scary.
59. Mr Holmes – Old Sherlock tries to solve the mystery of his disappearing memories. A nice film, nicely made.  But forgettable (ba-dum-tish).

 

NOT RECOMMENDED

Grade C / **

60. The Man From Uncle – Bland. Only Hugh Grant gets out with any credit.
61. Everest – Saggy, though Josh Brolin gets a great sequence.
62. Inside Out – Dull and manipulative.
63. Mommy – Dull and pleased with itself.

Grade C- / **

64. The Hunger Games: Mockingjay: Part 2 – Overlong and incomplete.
65. Joy – Only the second act works.
66. Kumiko The Treasure Hunter – Interesting in concept, boring in execution.
67. The Wonders – Boring, but it does have one great hallucinatory sequence towards the end.
68. A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night – Boring. A massive disappointment.
69. John Wick – Stupid.

 

ACTIVELY AVOID

Grade D+ / *

70. Jupiter Ascending – Could have been great camp.  Isn’t.
71. Aaaaaaaah! – A sketch extended to movie length.

Grade D / *

72. Ghost Theater – Like a particularly bad Tom Baker Dr Who story.

Grade D- / *

73. Listen Up, Philip – Mostly just dull. But the fake Roth-esque novel covers are fun (you can Google them).

 

ALMOST PHYSICALLY IRRITATING

Grade F+ / no stars

74. The Forbidden Room – Astonishingly dull, endlessly pleased with itself, and just for good measure grindingly sexist.

Not yet seen: Amy,  Phoenix, Mustang, The Revenant, The Room.